#AllEyesOnCBI
My name is SSR – Sushant Singh Rajput.
The most disputed, controverted, speculated, idolized, trended , debated and condoled name over the last 476 days all over my country and some other countries too.
I want to exult and rejoice at this unprecedented support , this unimaginable glory , but I am sorry.
Almost sixteen months back, I left my house and meandered my way out of the life’s path , hence can no longer pave my way back amongst you all. For that I am sorry.
I am regretful for many highlighting points of my life and many more.
Securing seventh rank in the All India Engineering Entrance is an absolute cake walk for any individual.I am sorry for all the heaps of praises showered on me for no reason at all. Whether be it the National Olympiad winner in Physics , or excelling in academics throughout or perfecting the dance moves under the tutelage of Shiamak Davak Sir or to earn a coveted grade in a three month Diploma Course in Acting – these are all really BREEZY ; mark my words- my friends .
However, surpassing every apologies I say loud and clear :
“ I AM SORRY BABU!!!!!!! “
“I was the charasi ; YOU NEVER WERE., You didn’t even know what drug was !!!All you knew was “. MAAL” i.e. just Chinese Food which you loved . I know Babu how much you loved me , tried to wean me off my lethal addictions, cared and nurtured me like my mother who had left me so long back and for whom I had yearned so much.So you HAD to procure different varieties of narcotics for me; for my well being; Only because you cared for me the most.
I know Babu the extent of your care. How selflessly out of the deep rooted love , you had to exhaust a certain significant portion of my bank account on regular basis to “ PROCURE NARCOTICS” for a CHARASI like me! Thank you so much Babu.
I kept repeating like a fool that I was a ZERO but you kept reassuring me that I was a HERO and how to keep me company you made sure that I was nevert left on my own to introspect. Others laughed at me and the loving , endearing Babu that you were didnot for once , forget to record all my foolish encounters in your phone, with everyone else laughing and mocking at my plight!!!
Such meaningful was your love.
I am really sorry Babu for you and Bhai – Shouvik.
You did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG…All your good and best friends out there are furious and argues to make a case for you “ no reason to treat you this way just because you might have consumed just a few grams of contraband” and roar together for you. I join them in this roar as well ;
Yes Babu I truly do:
– This is my return gift to you.
“ #BlazeItUpForRhea” for the scapegoat Rhea who just loved me and in turn what did she get?
a) Just a few crores of my money
( stealthily).
b) A COMPLETE CONTROL over me, my assets and every single details of my life.
What had happened to me on 13th June 2020-14th June 2020- I can no longer remember. What I had taken for dinner., whether I read books throughout the night, if Fudge my beloved fur friend / baby was by my side or not ;
Whether I jumped off my own bed or used a hammer to break my own knees ;
Whether I pricked my own body with needles and made scars on my own ; How I got shrunk from 5feet 10 inches to 5.3 feet and happily hung myself from the ceiling and finally to a phase of no return where I would NEVER see my Papa ; all my sisters closest to my heart – I DO NOT KNOW;
I SIMPLY DO NOT REMEMBER.
Hence to you all out there –
Papa, Didis, Arnab Goswami Sir , Kangana Madam, all the respected journalists , reporters, Ishkaran Sir , my buddies and millions of friends and supporters in India and through out the world –
I OWE YOU ALL A BIG SORRY!!!
I HAVE FAILED YOU ALL!!!
Today I truly repent that I can no longer speak in my own voice and relay to you : What ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME!!!
You all are getting battered in your own way, you are being ridiculed , you are being scowled at, you are being brutally attacked –
All of these because you STILL think about me ; because you all love me; and you all want me to leave this place where I never really belonged to and reach the safest haven and be at peace.
But I need to tell this to you all – my family and my dearest friends : One thing that I AM NOT SORRY FOR-
STARS AND THE SKY FASCINATED ME and Telescope helped me to bridge the gap between my reality and my dream. But death bridged that widening gap forever.
Death reunited me with my ma and landed me in my ma’s comforting arms – the embrace which left me eighteen years ago –
So this is what I am not sorry for;
I THANK YOU LIFE..
Since life paved the way to that day when it reunited me with my ma.
“Death is the last chapter in life; but the first chapter in Eternity”.
